{"id":212,"date":"2020-04-20T22:09:35","date_gmt":"2020-04-20T22:09:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/?p=212"},"modified":"2020-06-06T14:55:05","modified_gmt":"2020-06-06T14:55:05","slug":"everything","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/2020\/04\/20\/everything\/","title":{"rendered":"Everything"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Last night, I felt like a physicist discovering TOE.  The Theory of Everything, the Holy Grail of\nphysics.  The true unifying explanation for\neverything in the Universe, from the subatomic particles to the greatest of galaxies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had the flash of insight that led Archimedes to yell \u201cEureka\u201d, that Newton had when struck by the apple.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The enlightenment of the Buddha. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

 All at once, the\ngreatest feeling I have experienced in forever. \nAnd it was because of you Adela.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was ABOUT you Adela.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that moment when I understood your need, the unending\nhunger for the newness and the thrill of the hunt.  The Game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have called you the most beautiful of enigmas for a while,\nbecause none of my studies could jibe with your actions.  The push\/pull.  The hot and cold, the intense desire and need\nyou express for my attention then the cold silence.  Not your narcissism, not your failing\nmarriage nor the issues with your boys could encapsulate your words and\nactions.  Your cognitive dissonance.  Your seeming randomness between intensity and\ninconsequentiality.  Psychology,\npolitical environment, biochemistry, philosophy all failed to understand and\nappreciate the maddening complexity of you and why we do what we do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then, in the midst of you telling me how bad you think\nyou are yet again and trying to make me only accept your dark negative aspects,\nI got it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I understood why I can\u2019t abandon you.\u00a0 Why I wait through your roughest patches with faith that you will cycle back as so many times before.\u00a0 Your returning to me after rage quitting and blocking. Why even if you don\u2019t trust anybody you show some for and with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Namaste: the light in me recognizes and embraces the light in you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But for us it is Anti-Namaste: the Dark in me recognizes the\nDark in you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are the same under it even though we interpret our Dark\nMatter differently Draga Mea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You look at your actions and feel like you are a bad person, a horrible human for manipulating men to get the thrill you are lacking in your marriage and self, to fill your Voids (as you say) with, but in a negative and temporary way, a sugar rush of attention and momentary rush of endorphins that fades almost instantly. The Hunger you called it in 2016.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I need the same excitement, the same hunt and thrill and\nrush of victories and risk.  I got it\nsending you the cookies, building and sharing this site, finding you on Mingle.  Tae Kwon Do. \nRunning Ragnars.  Writing blogs\nfor work and poems for you my Muse.  I\nchase sunsets for that fleeting moment of beauty that I try to capture and\nshare with you.  Exactly the same hunger,\nthe craving for newness and dopamine blasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Addicted to the thrill, seeking it in our own way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two parts of an equation summarizing it all.\u00a0 Two approaches to life and desire.\u00a0 Ying and Yang, both holding the core of the other.\u00a0 Cycling around and returning because of the balance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Yin and Yang: The Masculine and Feminine of The All<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The Theory of Everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You believe in nothing yet I believe in you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that is why I have faith in 2047 and you getting through\nyour rough patches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because the Darkness in me recognizes and loves the Darkness\nin you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that is Everything Adela.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last night, I felt like a physicist discovering TOE.  The Theory of Everything, the Holy Grail of physics.  The true unifying explanation for everything in the Universe, from the subatomic particles to the greatest of galaxies. I had the flash of insight that led Archimedes to yell \u201cEureka\u201d, that Newton had when struck by the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":214,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/TOEHands.jpeg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=212"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":217,"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212\/revisions\/217"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/214"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=212"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=212"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/romancetwentyfourseven.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=212"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}